December 26, 2001
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Today I went out and tried to apply for welfare. This goes with a disclaimer: I have never taken public assistance before, no, I am not a welfare junkie. Yeah, I guess that part bugs me. I am far too sensitive about this whole thing. I don't want to need to do this. I feel like I have failed somehow. I worry about what people will think or if they will look down on me.
I learned that we can't qualify for food stamps because my car is worth too much money. But we can get Medi-Cal for the time but I have to go through several more hoops for that to happen. As expected, I have to dig up a boatload of paperwork for them, then I have to go to an orientation meeting and later next week I have to go meet with a social worker to confirm my eligibility. Okay, so I am jumping through the hoops and trying to turn my head off while I do all this. Becca needs glasses, both girls need medical care in case they get sick or hurt. I need to get off my high horse and be grateful I can get this.
Tomorrow I have an appointment to also try to qualify for WIC (Woman, Infants and Children). Megan is within the appropriate age group and if we pass muster we can get help with some basic food staples like milk, cheese, juice, peanut butter and breakfast cereal. Everything will help right now. I am trying hard to adjust to stuff. I actually got excited today because I found a 99oz (yep, not a typo) can of dill pickles for 99 cents at the 99 Cents Only Store. Megan loves dill pickles and eats them like candy.
The harder part is learning to think differently. I used to eat out as often as I ate at home. I used to think nothing of dropping $5-7 here and there for a new book or a trip to the movie theater. Those are luxuries now and it is so easy to slip into feeling sorry for myself and deprived.
I have to figure out if I need to sell my car. It would pay the mortgage for several months but leave us with only one means of transportation, a 1984 VW van that needs a lot of work. It is so old that we can't even legally take the kids in it because you can't properly secure required car seats in it, since it has no shoulder harness belts, only lap belts.
You know what it is all about though? It is about faith. I need to have faith that God will take care of me and that things will work out. I need to stop trying to do it myself and put it into His hands. That is hard for me. On the other hand, it is really easy to stop thinking about God and faith when things are easy and money is not a worry. Guess that is why I am here and not there.
Comments (16)
You made me smile.
dont feel too bad .. sometimes we need all the help we can get.. keep your chin up!
You will get through... there is light at the end of then tunnel. (Even if you can't always see it) I have hung on the edge of bancruptcy for like almost 6 yrs now... finally, things are starting to get better.
As solflames said, keep your chin up... you'll make it!
Praying for you. Things could be very difficult if you can't use the car you would be left with to move the kids.
In Food Stamps you can have $2,ooo in property. Your house does not count. Bank accounts must have cuirrent income (pay and unemployment) deducted from the balance before putting it into the property reserve. Cars must be valued at their lowest wholesale Blue Book. From that BB value "$4650.00 is deducted. If your car is coming out too high, you have the right to get 3 dealers to apraise it, and see if you can get apraisals lower than the BB. You would be surprised how often that is possible. If that doesn't work have you considered selling both vehicles and buying one reliable car in the $6,000 - $7,000 range (or less if you can find it). This might give you some mortgage money, a reliable car, and still qualify for Food Stamps if you need them. If Gene gets the job with Sears, he will have a truck to go to work, so you would still have a car at home. Just a hedgie suggestion. Love to all of you.
one of the terrible things about the United States is the too-little public support it gives to those who need it - this is why its not up there on the quality-of -life lists like Norway and then Australia are. The idea is when you're in work, with a good wage you gladly give up your taxes knowing they're helping fellow citizens - not being plowed into war-machinery, and when you're not, you've assisted to live well and keep the economy ticking by being able to be afford to consume what you need. - don't feel guilty about society 'helping' you, it should be the other way around. take care of you all in what you can, let god and society at large do the rest. peace
and best wishes 
Hugs
Yes, faith is easy when we have no worries...
Faith is a hard thing to have sometimes. I hope it gets better soon for you.
been there...hang in .
V~
Hon, public assistance was designed for people who need help getting over a hump, not for people who are going to be on it indefinitely. Be happy you can qualify for it. I, too, am in the process of applying for some assistance, mostly to help pay the medical bills acquired when my daughter had surgery the week after Thanksgiving. If we qualify for food stamps, fine. I figured if I had to go through all the paperwork hoops anyway, I'd take all assistance available to me. Tomorrow is the deadline for me to have my documentation to the case worker. I still have a terrible feeling that I'm still going to make too much money to qualify.
Thanks for sharing your heart! I know God will come through - don't give up.
When you were working outside your home you paid in plenty of taxes for this.
And when you are back in the work force you will pay in plenty more. And someday your kids too.
Pete
Faith--the thing that pleases God, and the thing I have the hardest time with!
*hugs* hang in there! If I could have gotten help when I was unemployed, I'd gladly have taken it. *sigh* But trust me when I say I know how you feel. . . . .
It will get better. In the meantime you will be OK. I have faith, too.
Shannon
It's good that you have that faith! Power to you.
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