March 9, 2001

  • Dreams


    I had another nightmare last night about returning to Christian college I was sent to. It has to be the most recurrant nightmare I have. Typically in the dreams I decide to return, because I want to get my degree and in my dreams I see no other way. (I went there two years, so I need two more years to get my degree.)


    The dream is tearfilled as I leave my husband and girls and pack up to the isolation of living on their campus. In my dreams I seem to always forget to pack my bible and then end up punished for such an unforgiveable dead. The entire time I am there I have to hold all my true thoughts and feelings inside and I try to just focus on my school work so I do not have to think about the other.


    In the dream I know I don't belong. I know I am a hypocrite in their eyes, but I am not allowed to leave until the year is up. It feels like prison.


    My dream last night was slightly different. Most of the above happened, but in addition I brough a pet dog this time. And somehow having the dog with me made me feel safer and more like I could face it all.


    It is hard to explain what it was like at this college to someone who has not experienced it. I write this really for me, because I need to write. So please ignore or skip if this just sounds like a bunch of insane ramblings.

Comments (6)

  • not insane

    i feel your pain

    maybe you-ll be lucky and next time the dog will eat the college

  • Hey you didn't go to Bob Jones did you?  *gasp of horror*  I managed to escape going there, much to the chagrin of my grandmother.

    Ahh well, I'm just a livin-in-sin godless heathen anyway........what do I know?  ;-)

    (uh, that was partially a joke.  I have my own views on god, which I will expand on in a lter 'blog.)

    Hugs

    ~cg

  • Oh Bob Jones! No, but that was another college we were encouraged to attend. I actually went to Pensacola Christian College. Glad to hear you escaped!

  • Sounds like progress to me.

  • Wow. I use to have a similar dream about a Methodist College my Dad told me I was going to after I got out of high school. My Dad was impressed because they wanted to give me a sizeable music scholarship. Duh! Of course they did! The population of the school was only 700 students and the college WAS the town!! It was out in the middle of nowhere in Bible Belt, USA with train tracks and 2 open fields separating the girls dorm from the boys dorm and no other town for almost 40 miles. They had to pay people to go to school there!!! All my Dad could see was dollar signs and a chastity belt. Thank God for my mother...........she got me out of it!

  • Maybe the dog is the first step away from this dream and the bad memories. :-)

Comments are closed.

Post a Comment