March 7, 2001
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Work and Stuff
I survived my first day back at work, it was much harder than I expected. I was so tired when I got home that I just went to bed at 8pm and I slept the entire night.
I found it hard to focus enough, hard to absorb so much new stuff and hard to do my food right. Meeting tend to go past normal eating times and so by the time lunch came I felt sick I was so hungry. I asked a friend to get me a grilled chicken taco and I picked out the chicken and ate it very carefully.
I am not supposed to eat solids like that yet, but I lost control and I feel guilty now. Some other doctors that do this surgery allow their patients to go to solids as they can tolerate. My doctor is very conservative and keeps his patients off solids for about 3 weeks longer than most. My tummy did tolerate the chicken but I shouldn't have done it. I am trying to be better today but it is feeling very hard. It seems like my stomach just aches all day and the liquids do almost nothing to help.
The nurse said if I wished I could have a bit of yogurt, but unfortunately I really dislike yogurt. Maybe I should try to make myself eat some and hope I don't get sick. Dairy products in general just don't seem to agree with me anymore.
Guess I am just feeling down today, unsuccessful and very tired and the day has only just started. I need to shake it and keep moving forward. Thank you everyone for all the support. I had no idea this would be so hard or emotional.
Comments (7)
I could be totally off here, pix, but do you know the people at work are expecting you to be 100% yet? You have needs right now that are reasonable, so get your needs met. I suspect they're following your lead. If you don't specify that you have them how can they be aware of them. You're no good to them if you're not in good health. Food for thought?
**hugs**
Remember, you have to ease back into things. I think Miss Julie's right--no one is expecting you to be 100%. I bet they aren't anyway. Do what is best for you and everythign else will work out.
As far as the meetings--can you take your shake or whatever in with you? It's probably important that you eat when you're supposed to, esp since you can't eat that much anyway. Just stick it in Tupperware and take a straw and do that if you need to.
**more hugs**
Shannon
Screw guilt or else guilt will screw you. You stepped over the line. Guilt is the price you pay. Now you can step over the line again if you're willing to pay the price. You want to stick with it and change a lifetime of "problem eating"? If you do, and it's okay with me if you don't, then screw guilt or it will screw you. I'm going to love you no matter what you do.
*HUGS* You can do it sis, I know you can! Yogurt is an acquired taste anyway...
I can't wait to see you next. I wish I could hug you right now.
My first day back and still wrist splinted, but allowed to type again.
Hugs and well wishes and lots of prayers and encouragement being sent your way. I hope you can feel the happy vibes coming thru the keyboard to you!
*hugs*
Laura
Lots of good and helpful comments by others--please listen to them and take care of yourself. Work is never more important than your health.
I'm not a fan of yoghurt either. Is there anything you can substitute?
And, yeah, take something to meetings with you--fruit juice for energy, or soup in a thermos.
Just take care and get plenty of rest.
Hugs!
go gal go! you'll get through this!
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